Saying No

My life is not what I would like it to be right now, but I'm not even really sure what I would like. All I know is that I am not happy with the grumpy, short-tempered woman I find living in this house and wearing my clothes. Actually, she is squeezing into my clothes that not that long ago seemed to fit a little better.

So what is driving me these days? What is causing this overwhelmed woman to put her head down and keep pushing when she simply would like to enjoy the life she has been given?

Well, here is what occupies my time...

• Packing lunches, making breakfasts, making supper
• Groceries
• Co-op: either dropping off/picking up or teaching
• Chauffeuring to speech class (2x week)
• Volunteering in Hannah's classroom
• Shelving books at the school library
• PTO mtgs (1x month, + wrestling with the guilt of not signing up for more, especially after hearing how much everyone else is doing for the school)
• Wednesday Night supper with the kids at church (so parents can participate in home groups or alpha
• Leadership meetings (1x month)
• Weekly staff meetings
• Youth group on Friday nights (3x month)
• Putting together curriculum for Jr. Kingdom Kids
• Teaching Kingdom Kids (3 months+ a year)
• Leading Mentoring program
• Book Club (1 every 6 weeks)
• Laundry
• Organizing/Cleaning/Picking up the house
• Garden*
• Hosting friends of the kids and us*
• Connecting with friends*
• Weekly Bible Study with daily lesson work
• Children's stories
• Advent and Lent services
• Home group organization
• Figuring out a system of discipleship for the church
• Stressing about Christmas gifts
• Reading
• Being on the computer WAY more than is good for me
• Staying up TOO late being on the computer WAY more than is good for me

*Not as much as I would like.

On top of what I am doing, I carry the shoulds around... I should have more quality time with Daryl. I should be in touch with my family more (sorry mom and dad, Jon and Mo, mom and dad Olson, Heidi and Nell).  I should pray more. I should exercise more. I should eat healthier. I should feed my family better. I should avoid buying products produced by enslaving other people around the world. I should have a better heart for missions. I should I should I should.

Yeah, I know, no wonder crazy, angry person is taking over my life.

What would saying "no" look like in my life? I read a blog post tonight over at Ungrind.org that got me thinking a bit. Could my life possibly change? Could the real Dana return and be able to wear the clothes in her closet? Interesting questions to consider...

• Is this something I want to do?
• How will this impact my family?
• Are the expectations of others making me feel like I should do something even when I don’t want to?
• Have I prayed about whether it’s something God wants me to invest in?
• If I say “yes”” to this activity, will I be saying “no” to something else of importance?

 http://ungrind.org/2014/art-saying-no/

I'm not even sure these are the best questions. I want to say the fourth question should be the first question, but I am not sure that I know what it means to hear a "yes" or "no" from God. OR perhaps I'm afraid of what it might be.

To Be Continued...