Faith and Hope?

This year was supposed to be the year of gratitude. Has it been? I'm not so sure. It has been a really hard year; full of really hard questions. Not "I have cancer, will I get better" questions. Or "I lost a love one, how do I move forward" questions. More like "How do I find gratitude when what I see is sorrow, brokenness, depression, anxiety, fear, uncertainty" questions.

How do I live with hope NOW, when so much of me just longs for that hope then... at the end of time? What if your own hope isn't enough for someone else and that is all you want... for it to be enough?

Faith doesn't promise us a life without sorrows. Faith doesn't promise that what is broken will be fixed on this side of eternity. So what does faith promise us?

For today, I'm not sure, but I will keep asking the questions.

Year of "Gratitude"

So apparently the "thing" to do this year is to declare it "the year of ________," picking one word to define your life for the next year. I know my cousin has done this with her daughters the last several years, but didn't know that it was a wider practice.

On Sunday, Daryl and I spent some time going back over the year, reflecting on things we've done, places we've gone, people we've seen. We also spent some time looking forward, not so much to make "resolutions," but just to talk about what we would like to see happen. One of the things that came up was this idea of "gratitude."

I think this would be a good word for our family this year. I am going to start by being grateful for the wonderful time we had this Christmas in Georgia. Enjoy the pictures!

Our "Building Center" Tree decorated and ready for Christmas when we return.

Nana and the girls filling the bird feeders between rain storms. As soon as we went back in, the blue birds arrived!

Nana, Poppi, Emina and Edina, and the Olsons girls!

Singing Christmas Carols with Bill, Susan and Ben

Christmas Dinner

The girls helping Nana in her flower beds and building a hut out of the stems.

Elizabeth searching for fish in the big tank at the Georgia Aquarium

Gracie enjoying the big tank

Getting ready for the 4D show ~ Daddy and Lizzle

Poppi and Hannah

Mom and me

The girls after their time in the Olympic Rings Fountain at Centennial Olympic Park

Exploring Furman University... so many great memories here!

The Olson Girls and Myra in downtime Greenville

Playing in the fountain with the Pendergraphs

Having fun at the Mall with their second cousin and a new friend

Family New Years Dinner

Happy 2016!

A Stroll Through the Woods

So, I am finally getting back into a regular exercise routine. On Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays once I see my two older daughters get on the bus to school, I start off on my walk/run jog, ok, maybe just a slightly faster trot for approximately a 5k. My knees, on my off days, are not really happy with me, but they seem ok while I am actually doing my "routine." My goal is that I will eventually be able to run to my kids school and back in under 50 minutes. (Their school is about 2 miles from our house.)

Anyway, yesterday, I decided to mix up my routine a little and go for my walk/run in the woods. I thought maybe if I wasn't running on concrete, my knees would be happier.

I set off on my journey through Ravenwoods, mostly sticking with the main trails, which are very developed and mostly smooth. It was going ok and I reached a crossroads, or crosstrails as the case may be. I looked at the map posted at the intersection and decided to head off on the blue trail which was described as about 2 miles and goes outside the reserve before it returns to Ravenwoods and the main trail. No problem.

I got about 25 yards beyond the edge of the reservation and hit a section of ushy, cushy mud. I had a decision to make, I could go back and just do the well groomed trails or I could find I way through the briars around the mud patch and keep going. Going back felt like defeat, so I went forward. Picking my way through the briars that kept snagging on my pants, but I made it and started running, well faster joggingish, on slippery rocks, leaf covered trail. (Did I mention it was foggy and raining a bit or perhaps it was the fog condensing on the trees?) All the sudden I had a picture of myself with a twisted ankle, deep in the woods. I decided to slow down and do my walk through the woods.

It was a pleasant morning, hit a couple more muddy patches, picked my way through the briars and kept going. I was looking for where the blue trail connected with the orange trail. From there I only had a little bit further to connect with the main trail again. All the sudden I see the orange markers. "Great" I think, " I should be almost there. I start going down the path and both blazes disappear. Weird. I stop and back track. Found them again and thought they headed off in another direction, but again, they disappear. I go back a little way and see a blue arrow pointing off, so I decide to follow it, but there are no orange markers. Am I going back the way I came? I don't think I've seen this part before, but the woods in the fall kind of look the same. What if I am going back the way I came?

I look at the time. Oh no, it is almost 11 and I don't know how close I am to getting out. I call Daryl. I'm not worried about myself. I knew I would eventually get somewhere that I knew, but I needed to pick up Elizabeth from pre-school which means I needed to leave Gloucester by 11:30. Would I make it? Daryl is on alert that he may need to pick Elizabeth up. So now all I need to do is figure out where I am. Do I keep going? Do I go back? I hear the Gloucester harbor fog horn and I think I am moving towards it (which is a good thing, kind of), but the echoes in the woods make sound travel funny.

I decided to keep going. Before long I see another sign marking the edge of the reservation. I'm back where I want to be. Not long after that, I see a trail marker clearly indicating that I have connected with the other trail. Not far after that I see the main trail and I am back to where I know where I am. Whew.

As I was journeying through the woods, I felt like this was a microcosm of my life right now. I want to go somewhere new, but not long into my decision I hit an ooey gooey mess. I can turn back, but what is the challenge in that? I can go forward, but it means picking my way through some experiences that really hurt as they snag me. When I make it through, the journey is new and interesting, but it isn't necessarily easy. I misread signs and the map. I get turned around or think that I am going the wrong way, yet deep down inside I feel like I am reading the map correctly. I can turn back, but then I will REALLY go the long way or I can keep pushing my way forward until I reach a place I recognize again.

I am glad that I kept going on my stroll through the woods and I am encouraged to keep going on my stroll through life. It is the only way to get to a new place.

Gratitude in 25 words

Amazing Women

Learning Together

Long Prayer Walk

Good Conversation

Hug from a Friend

Little Helper

Good book

Warm soup

Fruityville Story

Once Upon a Time

Questions and Answers from the Girls on Daryl's Birthday

1. What is something dad always says to you?

H: Leave your sisters alone
G: Hurry up Hurry up
E: Fruityville

2. What makes dad happy? 

G: Playing games with him
E: Helping clean up
H: Me not touching my sisters

3. What makes dad sad?

E: Not helping him
H: Bad news
G: When we three are angry

4. How does your dad make you laugh? 

H: Fruityville Stories
G: Fruityville
E: telling jokes

5. What was your dad like as a child?

G: Happy
E: Happy
H: Fast

6. How old is your dad? 

E: 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
H: 39
G: 31

7. How tall is your dad? 

H: 5 ft 20 in
G: 39 inches
E: 36 inches

8. What is his favorite thing to do? 

G: Play games with me
E: Watching the 'puter
H: Sing songs and be funny

9. What does your dad do when you're not around?

E: Play (I mean him go to work)
H: Study or work
G: Go to work

10. If your dad becomes famous, what will it be for?

H: Being a good worker
G: President
E: President

11. What is your dad really good at? 

G: Running
E: Playing games
H: Making people laugh

12. What is your dad not very good at?

E: Flying
H: Running everyday
G: Playing basketball

13. What does your dad do for a job?

H: He is the deputy chief information officer at Gordon-Conwell Technological Cemetery
G: Work at the seminary with I think five different jobs
E: Working on the 'puter

14.What is your dad's favorite food?

E: Mac N Cheese
H: A lot of foods
G: A Lot of foods. I can't name them all.

15.What makes you proud of your dad?

H: Funny and he tells good Fruityville stories
E: Fruityville
G: He is getting money for doing his work.

16. If your dad were a character, who would he be? 

E: Peanut Butter
G: Star Wars
H: Pa Grape

17. What do you and your dad do together?

G: Play games
H: Do stuff on the computer
E: A birthday today

18. How are you and your dad the same? 

H: Both have brown hair and we both like learning new stuff
G: Both have brown hair
E: We both have blue eyes

19. How are you and your dad different?

G: We don't wear the same style
E: Cause I don't have glasses and I'm a girl
H: He does a lot of work on the computer and I do a lot of worksheets at school.

20. How do you know your dad loves you? 

H: He gives me hugs and he says so
E: He plays games with me
G: Because he eats supper with me and he is right next to me

21.. What does your dad like most about your mom? 

H: I don't know.
G: Cause they kiss all the time
E: Hug so hard... a family hug

22. Where is your dad's favorite place to go?

E: To work
H: Places with the sun and no snow and room for picnics and stuff like that
G: To the vacation with me

23. How old was your dad when you were born? 

H: 30
G: That is like six years ago so... how old is he now? 38 37 36 35 34 33 32 31... I don't know
E: In diapers

Thankful

Today had its moments... not all wonderful, but there was plenty to be grateful for.

1. An AMAZING conversation with an AMAZING friend... God knew this coffee date was happening just when I needed it.
2. Laughter - a friend of my daughter was here playing. She brought me an etch-a-sketch and asked me "How do you turn this IPAD off?"
3. Opportunities - Today I had an initial conversation with a fellow parent about math, computer programs and helping in the school. Very excited about this!
4. Apologies - sometimes this is what is needed to reset a frustrating conversation
5. Family prayer - I think this is the first time this has happened as a family, we began and ended the day in prayer.
6. A little helper with groceries both at the store and at home
7. Mexican soup - yummy!
8. Birthday plans for Daryl
9. A picked-up playroom
10. Fruityville stories!

Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

I think I just needed to be reminded of this today.

This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgement: 

In this world we are like Jesus. 

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 

We love because he first loved us.

1 John 4:17-19